Yesterday I had one of these really strange days where everything is OK but nothing feels OK… I felt lost and confused and forgotten by God.
I have been trusting God for a number of things in my life that I have constantly prayed about but they haven’t happened…yet. Adding that ‘yet’ takes faith coz maybe they never will. I don’t know.
I’ve often heard that sometimes, when you ask God for something, He gives you one of three answers: Yes, No or Wait. I used to think it was pretty straightforward to decipher which of these He had given in a particular situation, but now, I am not so sure. Could I hear a ‘Yes’ when it’s really a ‘No’? Could I hear a ‘No’ when it’s really a ‘Wait’? How do you know which one it is?
It is so elementary, I know, this knowledge of God’s voice…but is it really? Do we ever really understand God’s voice and God’s ways and God’s reasons?
What I have been doing is waiting, whenever I am not sure what God’s answer is, because I believe it will be made clear in due time. The problem with this is the indefinite-ness of the waiting period…there is no deadline by which He will make it clear, we cannot constrain God to our time limits, He will answer when He will answer. So this is the hardest part for me.
How do you wait indefinitely? How do I wait without knowing IF God will answer, and if He will, not knowing WHEN?
So in the midst of my rambling and wrestling thoughts, I came across the words of the song Our Hope Endures by Natalie Grant. She sings about hope being more than optimism. What can be more than optimism? Optimism is by human strength, it’s something that we conjure up when we have decided to “look on the bright side” and see the glass as “half full”. It takes a lot of strength to be optimistic, especially in the face of serious negativity and obstacles. What this tells me is that hope is not by human strength, but by God’s strength. Hope is divine. We don’t will ourselves to hope, we ask God to give us hope.
So when I need to have hope in the waiting, I also ask God to give me the hope that it takes to wait on His answer. Pretty ironic, huh? I think the words of the song say it better. Have a hopeful day 🙂
Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?
But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It’s more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged
Emmanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient
We never walk alone
And this is our hope
~ Natalie Grant