On friendship and growing up

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed how much harder it gets to keep friends as one gets older? I have started noticing that so many of my childhood and college friends have filtered off, and I only interact with a select few, not because they were mean to me or stole my boyfriend, but because it requires way less effort to hang out with people I can access more easily, as opposed to those who I don’t see too often.

Is it a norm, like is it something that comes with the territory? Or is it something I need to change?

People get busier as they grow older. Jobs, spouses, commitments, school, children; all these come in the way and start taking priority. Now one has to divide their time between all these commitments vying for their attention. When we were younger, all we ever did was go to school and play. Makes sense why we had so many friends because we had so much time for them.

Now, I have all these demands on my time. You understand, we all understand. We need to hustle, make money, make names for ourselves. I’m just wondering, are all these pursuits equally valuable, or are some things in this life more important than others? Is it more important for me to nurture my marriage and children than to cultivate friendships? Is it more important to focus on my job and my hustle than it is to focus on building my friendships?

Another thing, are all the friends who I have drifted apart from worth the effort? Yes, it sounds mean, but I have to ask myself if I can handle having multiple friends or if it’s just easier to have the inner circle and move on with life. I may have bitten off way more than I can chew if I keep striving to hold on to friendships which can’t work for one reason or another. I guess I’m wondering how I would be able to accurately determine which friendships are worth fighting for and which ones I need to let go of simply because the season has passed.

It’s a tough one for me because I thrive on friendships. I love to have friends. I don’t know if my efforts have been half-hearted in the past or if it’s just chance that has worked to drift us apart. I just don’t want to look back and regret that I lost so much. What’s your take on this?

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9 thoughts on “On friendship and growing up

  1. You are preaching to the choir girl. I think (to quote you) that it comes with the territory. Accept it and move on. Some friends are in your life for a season, it’s not bad that a time comes and some have to go away. Maybe because you have both changed. That’s my take.

  2. I guess thats true @Shekyn, but how do you then determine who is there for a season? @Mercy, that’s a deep one…if someone is subtracting from your life…inspiration for my next post!

  3. I have a different opinion though. We seem to quickly let people go. You are calling them friends and they are even not friends. Most of them are acquaintances they have not yet become our friends. If we let the Morgan I have grown to know since I was six, who would remind me of the neighbors cat we stoned? Who is gonna laugh at how I drowned when I first learn swimming? People friends are people we love and treasure. Today technology is all over and we can always connect. Don’t think friends are many, they are not because we mistake them for acquaintances. Friends are valuable. KEEP THEM.

  4. It’s an age and stage thing.
    we move from one to the other in different timelines.
    by the time we are growing into (or growing out of for that matter) a particular age/ stage the friend has moved or stayed behind and so have the interests and priorities.
    This makes it hard to relate hence the drift…Lack of a common denominator. For Christians, we can say God can be the center but I’d like to see someone try and succeed. *feeling so unspiri to have said that*
    my take.

    • @Andrew I totally agree, stages in life have a role to play, a large one at that. Thanks for your comment. @Jeffersone, it’s not that they are not my friends, I am actually not talking about acquaintances. Haven’t you had a close friend who drifted apart from you or vice versa because they changed?

  5. I think friends are really key in one’s life. That being said, its wonderful to keep those who u have and even though life moves on and seasons change, we should always thrive to keep communication and make time. I can not imagine after all the hustle, getting to the destination without ur friends. How lonely would it be? who would be there to ask for advice or just have a meaningful conversation with? who would be there to celebrate ur achievements and be proud of you?

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