Is it just me or has anyone else noticed how much harder it gets to keep friends as one gets older? I have started noticing that so many of my childhood and college friends have filtered off, and I only interact with a select few, not because they were mean to me or stole my boyfriend, but because it requires way less effort to hang out with people I can access more easily, as opposed to those who I don’t see too often.
Is it a norm, like is it something that comes with the territory? Or is it something I need to change?
People get busier as they grow older. Jobs, spouses, commitments, school, children; all these come in the way and start taking priority. Now one has to divide their time between all these commitments vying for their attention. When we were younger, all we ever did was go to school and play. Makes sense why we had so many friends because we had so much time for them.
Now, I have all these demands on my time. You understand, we all understand. We need to hustle, make money, make names for ourselves. I’m just wondering, are all these pursuits equally valuable, or are some things in this life more important than others? Is it more important for me to nurture my marriage and children than to cultivate friendships? Is it more important to focus on my job and my hustle than it is to focus on building my friendships?
Another thing, are all the friends who I have drifted apart from worth the effort? Yes, it sounds mean, but I have to ask myself if I can handle having multiple friends or if it’s just easier to have the inner circle and move on with life. I may have bitten off way more than I can chew if I keep striving to hold on to friendships which can’t work for one reason or another. I guess I’m wondering how I would be able to accurately determine which friendships are worth fighting for and which ones I need to let go of simply because the season has passed.
It’s a tough one for me because I thrive on friendships. I love to have friends. I don’t know if my efforts have been half-hearted in the past or if it’s just chance that has worked to drift us apart. I just don’t want to look back and regret that I lost so much. What’s your take on this?