I’m at that place again, like I have been many times in the past. The place where I’m dissatisfied…not with life, but with my relationship with my Maker. I remember the deep conversations we used to have, how close we were and how satisfied, fulfilled and loved I felt. I am still loved, I know, but it’s different. And yeah, I moved, I changed, I drifted.
I can’t quite place when or how it happened, I guess it was gradual.
He’s been everything to me and I’ve hardly done anything note-worthy for Him. It’s like a relationship where all I do is take and take some more…and never give anything in retuurn. I complain and I nag and I get what I want…but I just skip away happily without a backward glance.
I don’t want to be like this.
I just miss Him so much, though He is still near. I want to fall so deeply in love with HIm that I will completely lose myself. I want the adventure, the mystery, the romance (yeah, you read right) with my Creator who knows me through and through and better than I could ever know myself.
What better way to be fulfilled?
I want to serve Him wholeheartedly, not grumbling when I’m called upon to serve in church or help someone else or swallow my pride. Embracing everything he says and every instruction He gives me because it’s a delight to do what He wants. Looking forward to spending time with Him, speaking to Him and hearing from Him. Taking time off just to reconnect with Him and find out anything I could have missed due to the craziness of life.
I want to fall in love with Him again.
To you I’m giving in
Come take me
I want to start again
I’ll open my broken heart
‘Cause I’ve reached the end
And you are the way to begin
I’ve seen a million empty smiles
Living in denial
I don’t wanna live like that
Where nothing’s real
I hate how it is to feel
Disconnected from it all
I’m aching for something beautiful
All the riches in this world
Couldn’t fill this great big hole
It takes something so much more
Only you can take me
You can make me whole
– Krystal Meyers