I need to enter a place of rest.
I feel restless now, in most aspects of my life…but especially in my working life. I know this is only temporary but the nagging has begun. I feel myself getting distracted, getting dissatisfied, getting restless.
It hasn’t even been long enough.
And another thing, after this temporary probation, then what? Is it guaranteed that I will get to where I want to be? Do I even WANT to be here? And what does God want for me?
I need to be at the point where my will doesn’t matter, just God’s. I want to be so at peace that I never worry about tomorrow or anything else because I know God’s got my back and he has my best interests at heart. Not to worry at all about where I will live or what I will eat or where I will work. Not to be worried that life is too short when I see people around me losing their loved ones and wondering if I will be next.
Matthew 6:25-34 says:
25″Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28″And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I want to get there.
You have found a way to go on for days pretending to live
But you are not okay with all of that weight
You need to give up
Just let it go let it fall down
Let it all flow like the water that’s rushing in over your soul
Till there’s nothing left
Won’t you come to me and rest