Heartbreak. Betrayal. Shame.
Someone broke my heart, betrayed me and I feel ashamed.
It isn’t really my fault, so I don’t understand the shame. But I guess it’s that feeling of having been fooled when you didn’t really see it coming.
Throughout all this I had been consulting God, asking Him if I ought to do this or that, asking Him what he thought of it all. I asked Him to protect my heart and guide me.
And, though it doesn’t sound like I’m happy, He did. He protected my heart. It’s broken but not destroyed. Bruised but not defeated. I’m hurt but not devastated. He broke my fall.
A while ago if this had happened to me I would be inconsolable, descending into a pit of depression. But not this time.
Yes it hurts, but not as bad as if God wasn’t here.
I’m letting Him in, letting Him take over, letting Him clean out the mess, letting Him make me over.
I’m letting Him into the dark and secret places.
And He is holding my hand through all of it.
Then I’ll see your face, I know I’m finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name, I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
I’ve come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your eye