Hello friends.

So today, I realised I needed to come back to this blog and finally take that step of faith that I wrote about on my last post. I thought I would have to open a new blog, but it looks like I’m here to stay.

Nothing momentous happened. I just knew and here I am writing…about what? I don’t know yet.

The past year since I stopped writing here has seen me go through momentous earth-shaking changes, both physically, emotionally, but most of all…spiritually. Two years ago (or was it three?), I was at camp with some friends over new years’ eve and as was our custom in those days, we shared what we wanted to happen to us/wished for in the new year.

After the usual “I want a job”, “I need a car”, “I want to get married” declarations, we got a little deeper. I said (or rather dared to say), in the words of Bob Marley, that I wanted emancipation from mental slavery. Waxing very lyrical, I know 🙂

I wanted God to free my mind. The mind is a powerful place, because your reality is governed by your mind. You can create whole worlds with your mind…and live in them. Throughout our lives we acquire so much and store it in our minds and believe things based on experience and what we choose to store in there.

I knew I needed my mind to be transformed for me to experience certain things in my life. I knew I had wrong mindsets that governed my decisions, but I was in no way prepared for what I uncovered and what I have had to work through these past three years; but most especially, last year.

Last year was a very hard year, but it was also a great year. So much good happened. So much GROWTH.

Is it a coincidence that I always post something just before or around my birthday? I don’t think so. My birthday (and I believe everyone’s) is so significant. The day we are born is so significant. I believe it always signifies some kind of rebirth.

There was this beautiful inspiring video posted by one of the American Idol contestants named Shi. She was saying how incredible life is and how the universe works and how amazing it is that we are alive. She was saying how every 10 years, all our cells regenerate, and we are a whole new being physically. Like we are new. It’s like we are reborn every ten years. It’s so incredible.

But then again, we are also infinite. There is something in us that lives on even when we are “reborn”, even when we die.

Watch the video here: https://www.facebook.com/whoisshi/videos/925886334129617/

I’m kind of losing my tangent here, hehehe.

Everything I’ve written up there, about renewing your mind, about emancipation from mental slavery, about infinity and about rebirth all comes down to this: God made each and every person unique. There never was and there never will be another you. Also, because of your uniqueness, you have a specially designed purpose that you are on this earth to accomplish, and you cannot accomplish this unless you are aware of this fact, and to be aware of this fact sometimes means opening your eyes and ears, hearing and seeing; and it sometimes means letting go of painful patterns and wrong mindsets.

This is the journey I’ve been on. This is the journey I’m still on, and, I think, this is what I’m supposed to write about now.


Moving on

What’s been weighing on my heart lately is that I need to evolve this blog into something even more real and raw than it has been. God is calling me to write about deeper things, weightier things.
I’m not sure what shape or form it will take eventually, but I will take the step of faith that this requires and end this chapter on this blog.
I want to thank you for faithfully reading, commenting, sharing your stories and encouraging me whenever I check my stats that someone out there is reading my penny thoughts. I can’t thank you enough.
Because of you, I got the courage to share my millions of thoughts; first with strangers, then later with friends, because I finally stopped being afraid of criticism and ridicule. Through that, I was able to have a louder voice and speak about things closer to my heart than music lyrics (back when this blog was “My Life as a Rockhead”).
For those who have seen me through all the phases, I thank you. For those who will be there in the new phase, I thank you too.
I’m excited!
I will share the link here once the new home is up.

Love, peace and blessings!
Shiro a.k.a Rockhead


Tuesday Tales

I just read one of my old posts by accident (mouse-clicking accidents) and it actually gave me so much hope! It was talking about regret and living in the past, and how it helps to look forward in hope so that you can endure the bad feelings of regret. I hope that made sense coz it sure ministered to me!

In other news, I dreamt that there was a pile of dead cockroaches (or were they alive?) on a white piece of paper. I can’t remember who the other person in the dream was but I had the feeling we were both puzzled and disgusted by the cockroaches yet we seemed to be doing nothing about it. It was like the cockroach pile was this big issue and we were being haunted by the pile of cockroaches that we could do nothing about. It was there in the background as we talked, it was there as we stared at it, it was there as we tried to ignore it. It was a constant haunting thing. *Shiver*

What do you think it means? Seriously!

Tomorrow I will write a serious post about all the other things I have been learning.

Happy Tuesday!



Happiness is in the moments.

I’ve spoken about joy before, which is different. Happiness is the feeling that we all try to capture as an endless state of being. Happiness is temporary, but that doesn’t make it any less delightful.

Do you know the secret to happiness?

I found it. It’s the moments that make you happy that define happiness. The trick is to capture as many of those moments as you can; revel in them, savour them, before they go away. Is it a sunrise? Catch that sunrise before it ends. Is it a song? Turn up the radio for as long as it lasts, and capture that five minutes of happiness. Is it seeing someone smile? Is it hearing a baby’s laugh?

When I look at every moment and every experience and seek the happiness I can experience in those moments, I actually have a lot of happiness squeezed into my day.

So, every day when I walk up to my office building, I look up at the sky between the two skyscrapers. I don’t know why, but the feeling of being all the way down here, and looking up at the blue sky, with birds darting in between the two towers, and the blue sky and sun reflecting off the windows, makes me happy. I like seeing people in cars, smiling at each other on my way to work in rush hour traffic.

I like it when my music player is on shuffle, and the song that comes on during that period when there is perfect silence, is one of my favorites. That makes me happy.

I capture moments of happiness every day. Who knew it was that easy?

Here’s to a happy weekend! 🙂 🙂


On brokenness and gifts

I finally understand what brokenness is. Brokenness is having no plan B, having no way out, realizing the limits of your humanity, being down and out, giving up on your own ability and strength. It sounds nasty, but it’s a great blessing, because, guess what…that’s the only time God gets to fully work and show His strength, and it is amazingly mind blowing!

I’ve written about small faith and little faith before (or haven’t I?) In summary, small faith is complete and whole faith, but it is small in size (which God approves of…small as a mustard seed), while little faith is insufficient and inadequate; it’s having plan B’s, believing in God halfway or quarter-way (very displeasing to God).

Brokenness has no room for little faith. It breeds complete faith because when you realize your own strength is sorely inadequate, you turn to The Powerful One, and He is only so pleased to make His awesomeness known (and He is probably thinking, what took you so long? I told you you were weak, duh!)

This is when you realize that God does freely give all things. If it’s peace you want, you only have to ask and you will receive. The reason why we don’t receive these things is because we don’t believe. Simple. When I was broken, I had no other choice but to believe that God is there and that He is the only one who can come through for me. My prayers became pleas. My requests were desperate because I simply had no.other.way.out. What’s amazing to me is that these truths always eluded me, as simple as they seem now.

It is amazing that I can get joy just by asking. Really? Is it just me or do we as humans feel that we have to work for everything? Do you feel like something is not worth receiving if it’s free; if you didn’t work for it?

The beauty of all the gifts God gives is that they are free; that’s why they are called gifts. Why have I been living such a hard life? Why have I been striving for things that God has already freely given? It hardly makes sense. Why would I seek to buy a car to make me happy (by avoiding unscrupulous bus conductors and jostling) when I could just ask God to give me joy and contentment? It’s so much easier! Like seriously, why are we struggling? If you need peace, you just ask God and He gives it to you, FOR FREE! Love, faith, self-control, etc etc.

I don’t even think the awesomeness of all this is really making any sense to you or if I am just rambling. If the sense of this eludes you, I charge you, just try it yourself. Just ask God for what you need. Then stand back and be amazed.

It may not come in the way you expect it, but just keep seeking Him and be amazed at how He works things out in even more perfect ways than we would ever anticipate or dream.


Understanding Joy

Joy and happiness are two different things, so I have realised, today. (Yes, I am sharing profound truths with you the minute I realise them. I am awesome)

Joy, as defined by Dr. Abuyomi here is peace of mind, calmness of spirit, and contentment of soul, and I agree with him (you are however free to disagree and provide Biblical proof! Kidding…[not really]). With this revelation, I don’t know if I have ever truly experienced joy or lived joyfully. I have experienced it  when things were going my way, but when things fall apart, my “joy” flies away too. That’s a characteristic of happiness, which is an emotion, while joy is a state of being.

How I know that it’s not real joy is because joy does not change with circumstances, it’s something that is a gift from God. It can be taken away by the enemy if we let him, but joy is not pegged on situations or occurrences; it’s supposed to be constant.

Another thing, joy is from God. You can’t wish it upon your life, you can’t force yourself to feel joyful because it’s a supernatural thing. This gives me relief because I have tried to be joyful but I can’t conjure it up. To know that it’s not by my own strength is so freeing.

Joy cannot be provided by people, or things. It would be a great burden to expect a mere mortal like myself to gift me with this supernatural gift. Your husband, wife, child, friend cannot cause you to have joy. It only comes from God.

If you are unhappy, discontent or restless, ask God to give you peace, joy and contentment. It’s really simple, simpler than I thought. God who did not spare His own Son can graciously give us all things (Rom 8:32) – and the best part is – He is willing to.

We only need to trust.


Two Oh One Four

This year is a year of change. I’ve gone through so many changes in the first one week of the year; it must mean that this is a taste of what it’s going to be like.

I’ve never been change averse, as long as it’s painless and causes the least inconvenience possible (what change is this I’m talking about? Does it exist?) Let’s just say the kind of change I’ve faced this year is the turn-your-world-inside-out kind of change – some painful, some exciting. After going through it, whenever that will be, I think I’ll no longer be change averse.

Since they say the only constant thing in life is change, I guess I better get used to it.

Outlook on 2014 so far: unknown, exciting, scary, and definitely unpredictable. Let’s see how it goes.

Happy New Year!